Safeguarding
Safeguarding is everyone’s business. Getting involved could save a child, young person or vulnerable adult from harm.
Abuse is more likely to be occur within our social or family networks rather than from strangers. (see statistics page or article )
Trust your instincts, be aware of the signs and protect your family (self and online) - see below.
Fearful, emotional or expressing knowledge or acting out sexual behaviour
Unexplained bruises, marks, burns, bald patches or broken bones.
More clingy, quiet, or changes in mood or appetite.
Unexplained loss of money, incidences of theft, change in mood or behaviour.
Fearful or afraid to ask questions. Reliant or resisting specific people.
Disclosure of abuse
If a child, young person or vulnerable adult tells you about harm or abuse being done to them, you must tell child and family services immediately, whilst maintaining full confidentiality, (not even for prayer purposes),to protect everyone and ensure a conviction if offences have occurred.
Tell the child, young person or vulnerable adult that you believe them and that they have been brave in telling you. Do not promise to keep their secret any longer. Explain to them that you have a duty to report the harm or abuse.
If a child, young person or vulnerable adult has questions you are not able to answer, repeat that they have done the right thing.
When speaking about harm or abuse done to a child, young person or vulnerable adult, it is better to say the person who committed the offence was wrong.
Warning signs of abusers and paedophiles
Abuse is more likely to be from within intra-familiar or social settings rather than strangers. As parents and carers, you know your children best, so trust your instincts if anything makes you uncomfortable. Academic research offers some behaviours that are more prevalent in people who abuse others, including children. The information below offers a guide.
How to protect family - online
Children young people and vulnerable adults benefit from guidance on how to protect themselves, how to remain safe and how to report or block content that makes them feel uncomfortable within the digital world.
Care for the family offers practical tips and a framework for parents and carers, using the family agreement to support discussions on how to keep safe and how to report any content that makes them feel uncomfortable. The NSPCC has useful guidance for online safety.
Grooming
Grooming is a process that ‘involves the offender building a relationship with a child, and sometimes with their wider family, gaining their trust and a position of power over the child, in preparation for abuse’.
Adolescents are at greater risk of physical, sexual or online abuse offences than younger children. NSPCC
Online:- (predators may pretend to be a young person or celebrities) Set appropriate permissions on devices and check regularly. Maintain open dialogue with children and young people using open ended questions such as, ‘Who do you chat with online?’ or, ‘Have you seen anything that made you feel uncomfortable?’ See useful videos from Barnardos for more tips.
Encourage and normalise asking for help or discussing anything that they are unsure of. Reassure them that they won’t lose device privileges if they make a mistake or see something they don’t like.
In organisations (people in authoritative positions) Take an interest in who they interact with outside of the home or school.
Public places/community:-Stay informed and curious of the interests, events and activities young people are involved in, reassuring them that they won’t be in trouble or lose privileges if they make a mistake or experience something they are not comfortable with.
Characteristics of paedophiles and abusers include - personality disorder, (narcissistic personality disorder)
Change in the behaviour, either in a child, young person or vulnerable adult is a warning sign something may be wrong.
Change in the behaviour of a person in a trusted position may also be a warning sign, especially if this change enables them to engage with a child, young person or vulnerable adult in greater capacity or more often.
If you suspect abuse, harm or neglect towards a child, young person or vulnerable adult, you must inform child and family services. In the event you witness an assault, call the police immediately.
For more detailed guidance, see https://www.mosac.net/
Change: Be aware of adults or older children, taking more notice or interest in a child, young person or vulnerable adult.
Control or humiliation: Verbal criticism of appearance, choices or behaviour in front of others. (see Women’s Aid )
Cruelty: Towards animals. (see Charlie Robinson )
How to protect family - self protection
Children are taught to respect all adults, which may enable predators to exert power over those in their care.
Teaching children from a young age about respect for their own bodies and other people’s helps them to understand what is acceptable and safe (good touching) and how to prevent unacceptable behaviour or abuse (bad touching) from starting or escalating.
Use games such as the ‘what if’ scenarios or props like clothed soft toys or dolls to discuss what is meant by good and bad touching (anywhere within pants or swimming costume) and what to do or say if they feel uncomfortable or are unsure about someone’s behaviour towards them, (even if the perpetrator a sibling, family member or older child).
The ‘Pants Rule’
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (UK) (NSPCC), provides resources for teachers and practitioners around the pants rule . Parents can discuss or campaign for this training with their schools or Health Visitor if it is not on the curriculum.
In addition, it is wise to discuss the difference between good secrets (surprise gift or birthday party) and bad secrets (something that will cause harm, make them feel uncomfortable or upset), and how to tell a trusted adult.
Listening to children
Giving children autonomy over who they interact with and how they engage, empowers the child to make their own decisions based on the level of trust they have.
Resist the temptation to encourage children to kiss or hug friends or family members. Allow the child to make that decision and encourage ‘high five’ instead.
Promoting such a policy may act as an early warning sign that something has occurred between the child and adult or older child if they suddenly don’t want to engage, talk or spend time with specific people.